Inflatable Cats, Sunstroke and Weird Drunken Web Searches

So I’ve not blogged for a bit, been busy enjoying my freedom! AKA watching back to back episodes of Game of Thrones only to emerge, blinking into the light, when I’ve run out of ice-cream. I wish I were kidding. But Ben & Jerry’s has been half price.

So exams are over for another year (hopefully)! And for the first time in three years I finished before my birthday. I am now 21! Scary Mary. And to celebrate my entrance into true adulthood, I spent the day, sitting in the scorching sun, drinking from 11am, eating pizza and ending the night skinny dipping in the sea. As fun as this may sound, it turned out to be quite a stupid, and dangerous idea. I burnt like a lobster over the day. No one quite believes how excessively I burn, until they see if with their own eyes. Two hours in the sun before I could grab sun cream, and a week and a half later my shoulder (just one, goddamnit) is still red. I blame my dad. I may not be fully ginger, but he was and I have inherited his pasty, freckly skin. Anyway, a mixture of day drinking and sun led to a very dehydrated birthday girl wearing party pants and a massive badge. Then jumping into very cold water with such an overheated body was not a good plan. I ended up with sunstroke. Now, if anyone had ever had sunstroke, they know how awful it is. I spent my first morning of being a fully grown adult, with my head in the toilet for three hours, my body temperature so high I was violently shivering and shaking, unable to walk without feeling nauseas and so weak. I do not recommend.

Aside from that, I had a great 21st and it was certainly memorable! I’m going to see Les Miserables at the West End as a present from my parents. I am SO excited about that. I literally know every word to every song, the audience are going to hate me. I’ve also really wanted a pet. I love my animals, but being at university I’ve only got a hamster, Rafeeki. My mum is getting another kitten and I’ve been nagging and nagging about letting me get a cat. So my mum told me for my birthday she had got me something I’ve always really wanted. I was so excited. Is she finally going to say I can have a cat!?

No.

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Thinking she is HILARIOUS she got me a balloon cat saying, “now you have a cat that you can take for a walk and it’s free!” So witty.

As I’ve already mentioned, exams are over so naturally I’ve been celebrating. Typical student style: alcohol and food. I realised how much of a student I am the other day when I had to iron my dress with a hair dryer. It kinda worked. Kinda. Yes, I don’t own an iron. Yes, that is the first time I have “ironed” in a year. Probably the second time in total since I arrived at university three years ago. Probably the same dress too.

I’ve also realised that my mind gets very strange when under the influence of alcohol. Recently, after nights out, I have found myself researching very strange things on the web. Such as, the Illuminati. And the other night I was watching motivational videos about “what would you do if money were not an issue.” I don’t really know what gets into me when I’ve had a cheeky vodka.

But now, I am going to bed. I had to slave away last night behind the bar at our university summer ball. Didn’t get to bed until 7am. Goddamn work. How am I gonna deal next year when I’m a graduate?

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Happy Jesus Zombie Day!

Well, I’m aware I’m a bit late on the Happy Easter thing. But I’ve been moving back to my university house and doing coursework (4am, drunk in the library) so I can be let off!

So over the Easter holidays, I’ve been back staying with my parents. I have little brothers and as everyone knows, kids come out with some of the best lines. A couple of days ago I got:

You’re very heavy aren’t you? Even Spiderman can’t lift you!

Well thank you, I’m aware I’ve gained a little chocolate weight -_-

Over Easter, I also received my souvenir photo from Miranda Hart! Still cannot believe I ended up on stage with her! Massive love ❤

I LOVE HER.

I LOVE HER.

I want her to be my BFF.

That boy in the picture with me who was my “date.” That is not wine in his wine glass. No sir, it is coke. Poor guy was only 16 aha. We had a list of questions about our most embarrassing moments. His was, “I got drunk and woke up in a bath. But please don’t say that on stage, my mum will kill me!” Bless.

I’m sure everyone’s also seen about Britain’s youngest parents! 12 years old!!! Can’t even be called a teenage mum! Children having children. How weird. I was thinking about this on one of my very boring shifts at work. When I was 12 the only thing I was looking after was sea monkeys. And I purposefully stopped feeding them because they got boring and just wouldn’t die.

And now I’m back at uni. Exams start next week, but I have managed to get me a job behind the bar and brought myself a celebratory hammock. Hurrah!

And I’m back! Hopefully.

Wow, it’s been a very, very, long time since I’ve blogged. And finally, a new post! Hopefully I won’t fail at life and stop writing again. Now to try and get some followers back!

So in the past year or so since I have wrote, I’ve been on a pilgrimage in Spain, finished my first year (again) of my new course and almost completed my second year, been to Budapest, got mugged and had to use some mad martial arts (but that’s a whole blog post on its own!) and have started the “100 Happy Days” thing. This is going to be quite a long post I’m afraid as I’m going to (hopefully) get up to date with my Happy Days.

Day one, 27th February:

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Got started on my “100 Happy Days” very nicely! Me and the girls have started a “Come Dine with Me”- esque thing where one of us cooks and the other two supply the wine. Very nice evening with very good food!

28th February:

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This is me dressed as Elmo. This is literally the BEST thing I have ever brought! I’m fundraising for Kilimanjaro (I have to go this August now) and spent the night at the Student Union raising money for Meningitis Research Foundation, very, very drunk. Imagine this twerking. That was me. But raised over £100!

March 1st:

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Very nice evening after another day of fundraising, hungover, dressed as Elmo. Spent it with the girls, listening to live music, drinking cocktails, overlooking the harbour.

2nd March:

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I got a free t-shirt as training. Simple pleasures 🙂

3rd March:

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Bastille at the Pavilions. INCREDIBLE. Dan, marry me!!! Such a good night watching an awesome band.

4th March:

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Most surreal night ever! Ended up on stage with Miranda Hart ❤ in front of 4000 people, then went backstage on a “date” with some guy, got photos taken with her, my “Where’s Wally” hat signed and some wine, then back on stage after the interval. Massive love for Miranda, still cannot believe what happened!

5th March:

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Don’t worry, almost there! Got my second tattoo and the start of the beautiful weather began so took advantage with an icecream and a stroll along the coast.

6th March:

Just a girly night in with lots of food, wine and Pitch Perfect!

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7th March:

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The lush weather continues, chilling on the roof terrace and my little chum and ex-housemate Paul(ine) came down to stay.

8th March:

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Fight Night! Went off to Bolton with Saints to watch the Super Showdown, 7 hours of professional Muay Thai fights, close enough to see the blood, sweat and brutal knockouts, my idea of fun! Complete with a night spent at a grubby Manchester hostel 🙂

9th March:
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My old housemate in my first year of university who left at the start of second year came down to visit for Sunday Funday! Didn’t think I would be back from Manchester to see her, but made it and had an awesome night out, like old times!

10th March:

Beeeeeautiful weather, which meant one thing… screw revision, lets go to the sea with an icecream!

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And finally…. today, 11th March

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FOOOOOOD!!!!

It sounds pretty lame, but I would definitely recommend the “100 Happy Days” as I’ve found myself going out of my way to do something that I enjoy, even if it’s something small 🙂

I need a holiday!

Sitting here in the dark, alone, confused and a little lonely, recovering from a pointless test about plants, trying desperately to block out the sound of my house mate shagging in the room opposite, makes me wonder. Have I made the right choices?

I made the right choice to change my course from Psychology to Animal behaviour and welfare. Of that I’m sure. But was I right to go to university in the first place? What would have happened if I’d gone straight into a job? What if I’d gone travelling? I’ve always wanted to explore the world. Maybe I could be somewhere exotic right now? Somewhere hot, somewhere by the ocean?

I’m only a first year again and it’s the most frustrating thing. Seeing all your friends applying to go on placement year, planning on moving away next year. I’ve even been doing some early research and I’ve found some of the most incredible experiences but I cannot go for another two years! I could be going to Madagascar, back to Costa Rica, Thailand, Mexico, Australia, South Africa! I know my education is the most important thing, but right now, my will to stay in this country is very,  very weak.

I don’t care about money. I’m going on holiday next year. Even if I have to swim.

Oh, such a bad, bad day.

Today has been a disgustingly long and very bad day. And it started at 8am. I should’ve known I was doomed from the start. I don’t do early morning starts. But it started so well! I didn’t even press snooze on my alarm… I was even 5 minutes early to my tutorial! And then things went downhill…

My tutor is not an interesting man. And my attention span is not great when it comes to boring people. I end up noticing things. Picking up on annoying habits instead of actually listening. And what I noticed was that my tutor says the same word over and over again. “Obviously.” Even when it is obviously (teehee) not relevant or even grammatically correct. And there is nothing I hate more than bad grammar! So I played a little game. I counted how many times he said it.

62 times in half an hour. 62 TIMES!!!!

Every time he used it incorrectly (62 effing times), I felt a little blow to my soul. So already, by 9.30, my mood was going downhill.

So, I went home, revised for hours (AKA watched 10 episodes of How I Met Your Mother) and decided to tidy my room. I thought I’d put a wash on, running low on clothes and all that. Bad idea. Now I have even less clothes. THE WASHING MACHINE DOOR BROKE AND MY CLOTHES ARE STILL STUCK IN THE MACHINE D: We tried putting it on spin, tried kicking it, even tried prising it open with a knife. No such luck. So now I have slowly moulding clothes stuck where I can see them but cannot wear them! The landlord better hurry up and get round here.

Then to make matters worse I went to the library. Already a pretty risky move. I needed to print some stuff off and I was 4 pence short. So I tried topping up my university card using my debit card. Surprise, surprise the website was down so I couldn’t. So then I thought I would change up my £5 note into 50ps. That machine was also not working. I went to the front desk. They were “cashless” and so could also not change my money. So I had to leave, go to the shop, buy a muffin, get some change, go back to the library and finally top my card up. I then attempted to print my work. THE PRINTER DIDN’T BLOODY WORK! It took my money but didn’t print my stuff off. So I had to go to another printer, spend more money, finally printed my work to find out… wait… I don’t actually need this. Half a fricking hour. 

After all this I decided to limp home in the rain (limp because of an injury, not because I fancied it). Then… hang on… my foot started to feel really wet. I looked down. Oh my dear baby Jesus. The sole of my favourite boot had come apart from the shoe. My big toe was hanging out the front. How did this happen?! Why did this happen?! Why does God hate me?!

And then, to top it all off, I realised that I also could no longer go to a party I was very much looking forward to going to. I was going to dress up as a hobbit. Hairy feet and all 😦

New Years Resolutions… Hmm…

Right, my New Years Resolution is to get fit and healthy (I’ve been watching too much Olympics- I want one of them medals). Okay, it’s a little lot past New Year but you know what they say… better late than never!

So, here are my aims for the rest of the year:

1) Drive more. I know people always go on about how good walking is for you, but people forget about how good driving is for you too! Not only do you get everywhere quicker but you also have to use your feet a lot. That means you will have really strong feet, which is always great and incredibly useful.

2) Have a baby. Well, I don’t want one. I have a little brother, so I’ll just use him instead. But for everyone else without a little sibling or a child ready to hand, go have a kid, guaranteed weight loss or your money back. Especially if you feed them a lot and make ’em chubs. Swear down picking my little brother up is better than weight lifting.

3) Go out partying more. Not only are you dancing- very, very good exercise, especially if you move your whole body (which I do, despite the funny looks)- but, if you walk home, you also walk twice the distance because you walk diagonally and end up criss-crossing across the street. Isn’t alcohol great!? (let’s just conveniently forget about the whole liver damage fairytale)

4) Be hungover more. You’ll feel too sick to eat so you’ll lose weight. And hopefully have had a really good night out before. Win win!

5) Go shopping more. Who needs to spend money going to the gym when you can spend it going on a shopping trip and get just as fit with the added bonus of a new wardrobe? Make sure you buy loads though, because carrying all those bags around is excellent for those arms. And walking from shop to shop will also increase that stamina- after a few shopping trips, you’ll definitely find it gets easier! And if you don’t have the money to go shopping, that’s fine. I’m not saying steal money from your parents but… steal money from your parents. I’m sure they’d rather you spend their money than get so fat you can’t leave your bed and die. That’s what you should say if you get caught.

Might quit uni and become a personal trainer.

YOLO

This blog post was inspired by another that I recently read, What do you want to be when you grow up? by subtlekate. 

Every time I meet up with my friends recently, conversation always seems to turn to the future.

Oh God, we are going to be twenty next year, that’s only ten years until we are thirty, then we are halfway to sixty and practically dead, ooh our life is over- we are so old etc. etc. 

But seriously, I know we aren’t at any age to be moaning about being old, but life is flying by. In a few years time we will be getting proper jobs, have to pay taxes, get a house, a family, settle down. Shit.

When I was little this all seemed so far away. In year two I remember doing an assembly on, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I said an RSPCA inspector… Not a princess or a footballer or a doctor like a normal kid but an RSPCA inspector. I still don’t really know what that involves now to be honest, nor, I think, did the teachers, but I was pretty adamant and so they let me get on with it.

As I got a bit older, I went through a variety of jobs that I wanted to do, including being an author- I wrote a fascinating story called “Charlie the chimp go’s (lovely grammar) on an adventure!” and a pop-out book about a “Scaredy-cat mum.” My longest dream, however, was to be a vet. This lasted until my sixth form induction day when I realised that there was no way in Hell I would ever be able to take Chemistry at A-Level and thus was not clever enough to become a vet and so, my Wild at Heart dream was, sadly, over.

My amazing story ❤

Then I took Psychology at A-Level, adored my cute old teacher and was in love with my Irish one- so much so that I became a complete arse-kissing teachers pet, yet still trying to be the loudest and funniest person in the class, whilst aiming for none less than one hundred percent in every essay and exam and going to every after-school revision class he did. It worked, I enjoyed the subject and was good at it and so a new dream was formed- I wanted to be a forensic psychologist!

For two and a half years I exercised this ambition- but always at the back of my mind I had my doubts- I had spent my whole life wanting to work with animals, but now I was changing to work with people? I hate people!

*Only a slight exaggeration.

My year at uni was great, I really enjoyed it and made some wicked friends but when I got to the stage where I didn’t bother going to lectures, was so unmotivated to revise or do any work I realised that I wasn’t really passionate about the subject, couldn’t see myself making a career out of it. I know, first year of freshers, who does work? Who goes to lectures? Well, I’m a massive geek. When I like something, I like to learn about it- when I did psychology at A Level I memorised two textbooks, all my class notes and additional powerpoint slides my teacher made. Sad, I know, but I’m too much of a perfectionist to learn the bare minimum.

So now I’ve gone back to what I have always loved. Animals. I imagine myself in the future abroad somewhere. I’d love to go back to Costa Rica or somewhere else in South or Central America to do some conservation work. I want to travel. I want to get everything done before I have kids. Hell, I don’t even know if I want kids!  I’ve written a bucket list that I want to fulfil, preferably whilst I’m still young. Yes, I’m going to be mainstream- YOLO- you only live once. And I intend to make the most of it.

There has to be a Harry Potter joke somewhere.