Inflatable Cats, Sunstroke and Weird Drunken Web Searches

So I’ve not blogged for a bit, been busy enjoying my freedom! AKA watching back to back episodes of Game of Thrones only to emerge, blinking into the light, when I’ve run out of ice-cream. I wish I were kidding. But Ben & Jerry’s has been half price.

So exams are over for another year (hopefully)! And for the first time in three years I finished before my birthday. I am now 21! Scary Mary. And to celebrate my entrance into true adulthood, I spent the day, sitting in the scorching sun, drinking from 11am, eating pizza and ending the night skinny dipping in the sea. As fun as this may sound, it turned out to be quite a stupid, and dangerous idea. I burnt like a lobster over the day. No one quite believes how excessively I burn, until they see if with their own eyes. Two hours in the sun before I could grab sun cream, and a week and a half later my shoulder (just one, goddamnit) is still red. I blame my dad. I may not be fully ginger, but he was and I have inherited his pasty, freckly skin. Anyway, a mixture of day drinking and sun led to a very dehydrated birthday girl wearing party pants and a massive badge. Then jumping into very cold water with such an overheated body was not a good plan. I ended up with sunstroke. Now, if anyone had ever had sunstroke, they know how awful it is. I spent my first morning of being a fully grown adult, with my head in the toilet for three hours, my body temperature so high I was violently shivering and shaking, unable to walk without feeling nauseas and so weak. I do not recommend.

Aside from that, I had a great 21st and it was certainly memorable! I’m going to see Les Miserables at the West End as a present from my parents. I am SO excited about that. I literally know every word to every song, the audience are going to hate me. I’ve also really wanted a pet. I love my animals, but being at university I’ve only got a hamster, Rafeeki. My mum is getting another kitten and I’ve been nagging and nagging about letting me get a cat. So my mum told me for my birthday she had got me something I’ve always really wanted. I was so excited. Is she finally going to say I can have a cat!?



Thinking she is HILARIOUS she got me a balloon cat saying, “now you have a cat that you can take for a walk and it’s free!” So witty.

As I’ve already mentioned, exams are over so naturally I’ve been celebrating. Typical student style: alcohol and food. I realised how much of a student I am the other day when I had to iron my dress with a hair dryer. It kinda worked. Kinda. Yes, I don’t own an iron. Yes, that is the first time I have “ironed” in a year. Probably the second time in total since I arrived at university three years ago. Probably the same dress too.

I’ve also realised that my mind gets very strange when under the influence of alcohol. Recently, after nights out, I have found myself researching very strange things on the web. Such as, the Illuminati. And the other night I was watching motivational videos about “what would you do if money were not an issue.” I don’t really know what gets into me when I’ve had a cheeky vodka.

But now, I am going to bed. I had to slave away last night behind the bar at our university summer ball. Didn’t get to bed until 7am. Goddamn work. How am I gonna deal next year when I’m a graduate?


Spider-Maaaan Party!

So I did a “cute” thing. Feel free to cry, uncontrollably shriek, “naaaaaaaawwwwww” and ask Santa to have me as your very own big sister. The other weekend was my lickle brothers fourth birthday and I thought I would surprise him on his birthday as I hadn’t seen him in over a two months. Unfortunately, the weekend I went home was also the weekend of the floods and so the train tracks were down. Bloody English weather. But, me being the best big sister ever, took the alternative route home, braved the replacement coaches, spent many hours waiting at unknown stations, all on my lonesome in the icy cold, nearly freezing to death, carrying my heavy load with a broken toe (unfortunate kickboxing injury involving a violent game of bulldog, a mat and a snapped pinky toe.. sad times, but that’s another story), no food, practically dead from starvation…

Ok, so I may have exaggerated a little, but what is normally a three hour journey home, did still take me seven hours instead. Big sister points right there!

Anyway, so I finally made it home at about eleven o’clock the night before his birthday. The next morning, at about half past 6(!) I heard a very excited Samuel coming down the stairs, shouting that it was his birthday and going into the living room to open his presents. My present was the first- a Spider-man costume! I could hear screams of excitement and cries of, “SPIDER-MAN!!!!!” when my mum asked him to go and let the cat out of my room. Not knowing I was in there, he opened the door and came in.

“Happy birthday, Samuel!”

***Generic happy squeals of “CHANG-UT” (he still has difficulty saying my name) and “BEST FRIEND” accompanied with lots of jumping up and down, on the bed and on me and our ‘best friend handshake’.***


It was pretty expensive (and I’m a poor, poor student 😦 ), but definitely worth it. Plus, I got to eat loads of cake and rubbish at his Spider-man themed party 😛


May 15th

May 15th.

Anne Boleyn was sentenced to death; Mickey Mouse made his cartoon debut; McDonalds opened it’s first restaurant in California; The French got their first female president; The May 15th Incident; Paraguay’s Independence Day; First private mental health hospital opened in the US, Las Vegas was founded; Sputnik 3 & 4 were launched; California became the second state to legalise same sex marriage.

Most importantly…


Although maybe I should have been born yesterday- it was World Naked Gardening Day.

“If I won the lottery, I’d pay someone to bump you off!”

I’ve been pretty rubbish recently and haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been so busy keeping up-to-date with Glee and New Girl, getting fat eating a copious amount of Easter egg, teaching my little brother a “gangsta handshake” and generally procrastinating that I had a bit of a writers block.

So what have you missed?

I’ve been at home with the family for the last month. My mum complains that she can’t use my room for hanging up the washing in and my dad told me that if he won the lottery he would pay someone to bump me off ❤

I’ve also made a pretty important life decision and I’m changing my degree course. I find psychology interesting and everything and I really admire people in the profession, especially after all the help I got from them, but I’m not passionate about it. So, I’ve basically wasted a whole year and a whole lot of money, but I’m changing my course to the one I originally wanted to do- Animal Behaviour and Welfare. I’m aware this is very different but I’ve always wanted to go into conservation, even more so after visiting Costa Rica and getting hands on conservation experience. I think I chose psychology for the wrong reasons- it was something I was good at and I liked my teachers I think more than the actual subject. But hopefully, next year I will be doing something I actually love. Otherwise, I’m screwed. Maybe Tesco will take me back :/

It was also my little brother’s first birthday party on the weekend! It was nice, I never got to celebrate my other brothers first birthday because work wouldn’t let me have a day off, “He’s not your son!” However, you know those family members like your great aunts, uncles and second cousins- the one’s you only ever see at weddings and birthdays a couple of times a year? Well, there was a lot of them. You get past the small talk stage where they ask you the usual questions and say the usual things: “Oh, so how’s uni going?” “Oh my, don’t you look older!” “You got a boyfriend yet?”

And you answer politely even though you know that they couldn’t really give a shit: “Ooh, it’s great, such hard work,” “Oh, haha, yeah, I guess it must be my new hair,” “Hahahaha, nooo, I’m too concerned with my studies for boys!”

When what you really want to say is, “Uni’s great, I get so drunk that I’m sick at least twice a week then sleep till midday,” “Of course I fucking do, I haven’t seen you in a year, you daft bat!” and “Mind your own business nosy, even if I do, do you really think I’ll tell you?!” Obviously you don’t unless you want to be branded a sociopath and kept locked away from people from the rest of your life.

After surviving that stage though, it gets worse. You get to phase 2: the awkwardly standing next to each other phase, neither of you knowing what else to say, not knowing each other well enough to make proper conversation.  This is my cue to leave and grab a sandwich or a cake or a handful of crisps. I ate so much that day, I felt sick.

Thanks to everyone who is reading my blog. Despite not blogging for ages, my views keep going up. Yay!