This weekend, I have heard some of THE best attempts at chatting up girls I think I’ve ever seen. It was…
Well… I was definitely stunned.
Friday night, I went out on what was a very fun and relatively messy night out and met this 28 year old man who asked me my age.
“You’re 19!? You look a lot younger, like 16?”
Not only did he insult me, he then proceeded to ask me out, despite me looking like I should still be at school and he could be my teacher.
Creepy or desperate? Both?
His chat up went something like this:
“You’re really pretty, let me take you out for a coffee?”
“Urrrrm… I think you might be a little to old for me”
“Don’t you fancy a mature man? I have experience. I know things about… things…”
And it didn’t end there. I went out Saturday night with a group of four other girls, just for a quiet drink and a catch-up in the pub when these two boys asked to join us. They had been watching us the whole night, which we naturally thought was hilarious and made them the brunt of many jokes throughout the night. They, stupidly, decided to ask what we were saying when they were staring over at us.
“First, what were you saying when you were staring at us?”
“We were saying how fit you girls all are. I still can’t believe we are sat with you! You are all so out of our league, we should be still sat away from you, talking about how amazing you all are! What were you saying?”
“We were just wondering why the fuck there were these freaks staring at us.”
So brutal. But, weekend made.
We also had this groom (apparently) who said his “task” was to see how many girls he could kiss, take photos of them all and show his wife-to-be. This does not make sense to me. Our excuses ranged from, “I’ve got a boyfriend,” “I’ve got a boyfriend whose a thug” and “I’m a lesbian and hate men.” Unfortunately, one of the girls wasn’t quick enough to think up a story and so now there is a lovely picture out there of her giving him a smacker.
So all in all, it was a pretty funny couple of nights out. Men might be useless at many things, but are accidental comedy gold ;P