Before I tell this story, a quick disclaimer just to say… I am not, in any shape or form, racist :L
My friend stitched me up. Very bad.
She’s black, I’m white and we
occasionally always insult each other.
Her favourite insult for me at the time was, “you immigrant.” Can you see where this is going? No?
We were at the school library, the geeks that we are, getting some books out for some work we had to do. God knows what we were doing in there, trips to the library were very rare and very scary occasions. Not least because of the librarians. I have yet to find a nice one. It has become one of my life’s missions. I don’t really think it’s possible.
Anyway, as we were queuing up to sign our books out, we decided to start insulting each other again.
“Oh, you boob”
“You bum ‘ed”
“You smell of hamster wee”
“Ooh, no you didn’t! Yo mama so fat her patronus is a cake!” (A personal favourite of mine)
As we got closer and closer to the counter, and to the librarians, the insults kept coming. Until we reached the counter and I decided to use her insult against her. Yes, I’m sure you’ve got it now.
The shock on the librarians faces. The disgust. The horror. They didn’t quite know what to say.
I started laughing, thinking my friend would join in so they would know that it was a private joke, no racism intended.
Nope. Not her. She pretended not to know me and did a very convincing look of hurt and offence, before leaving the library without a word to me.
I quietly took my book out, trying to ignore the hatred radiating from the librarians. Went outside to my “friend” who was pissing herself laughing.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THEIR FACES, THAT WAS AMAZING!”