Today has not been a good day. And it’s not even lunchtime yet. On the plus side, I do manage to provide amusement to my mum
I was attacked by a giant spider.
Well, OK, not GIANT. Quite large. Medium. Alright, it was a money spider! But I still hate them.
See, here’s what I happened. I had just come downstairs from a nice, cold shower, just in my towel and being the vain person that I am, I thought I’d check myself out in the mirror. Nothing seemed out of ordinary and I stood there, doing the usual girly, “Oh God, why don’t I look like Angelina Jolie?” Especially today as my sunburn is starting to get to that lovely peely stage. VERY ATTRACTIVE. But then I felt something… something itchy on my neck. I looked down… And there it was. Crawling up onto my chin.
I’m not normally a big screamer but in this case, it was necessary. Squealing like a little girl I smacked myself in the face to try and get it off me. This was a bad move as too much activity in a towel usually causes it to come off. Luckily, I caught it before my mum and brother came running into the hallway to see what was going on.
“There was a spider on my face and I nearly dropped my towel!”
“A spider on your face? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Now, I’m not sure why my mum found this so funny, she’s even more terrified of them than me! I suppose she likes my suffering. The worst part however, was that I couldn’t see where the spider had gone. Now this scares me more than knowing where they are. I get paranoid that they have run off to lay eggs and make hundreds and hundreds of new baby spiders that will come and take revenge on me when I sleep.
Not having much choice, I went into my bedroom to get dressed. I look down. Da fuck!? The spider is still on me, this time dangling off my hand!!! :O I palm strike my door frame, aiming to squish it and when I look down, sure enough, the spider is gone, but there is NO expected mark of squished spider on either me or the door frame. So I’m back to where I started. I don’t think I can go to sleep tonight. I have now tried to kill the spider twice.
It will be after revenge.